When the Talk Gets Tough – Learn How to Face It
There are many occasions in life when we have felt uncomfortable while talking to others. In business, one has to learn to deal with all kinds of people, individuals with different values, interests, opinions, and business styles, because the way in which we handle these situations will reflect on us.
There is always a choice; you can look at tough moments as obstacles, or as opportunities to build your character.
Here is some advice on how to handle things when the talk gets tough:
- Agree to disagree
It is inevitable: not everyone thinks as we do, not even our parents. In fact, in all likelihood, most people we meet will have opinions and beliefs that are different from ours. It can be really tough if you are talking face to face to a person and you suddenly find out that he loves turtle eggs when you are an avid protector of turtles and are fighting against their extinction. It is the same in all sorts of conversations; one may oppose the other in their views about war, health care, football, religion, politics, or even TV shows. Just remember that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and having a disagreement doesn’t mean there can’t be a business relationship between the two of you. When it is clear that no one is going to change sides, just respect the other person’s point of view; agree to disagree, and move to a more neutral topic where you can find common ground.
- Deal with the putdown and showoff experts
There are people who are professionals at putting you down or showing off in front of others. They just love to criticize and make the toughest comments right there, when it hurts the most. You really require a strategy to deal with these experts, because they mean to hurt you. A lot of times we let people get away with it instead of getting back at them immediately, perhaps because they leave us with our minds ‘blank’ or because we don’t want to play their game; however there are intelligent ways to react to these parasites, just use them at your convenience:
� One of the best and simplest ways is to look the person right in the eye and say “Ouch!”; it will be immediately clear that he has attacked you and that you got the message.
� An effective way to shut up a showoff is to reply something like, “Wow, how fascinating!” and then move on in a civilized way.
� Tell the putdown expert “Aww, so sorry you feel like that”, excuse yourself and leave. You will be better off at a place where people’s efforts are into making others feel good; do not waste your time around people who believe in getting ahead by mistreating others.
� Another way to deal with the situation is to be direct, when you are on the strongest side. “That was truly out of line” or “Are you trying to hurt me?” are very clear approaches that will surely intimidate.
� If you happen to be on the weakest side, you could just smile, look him in the eye and say, “Fortunately, I believe in myself enough so as to not have to respond to your observation”; you just told him he lacks confidence and that’s why he needs to attack you
� When dealing with insults at an equal level, just be direct, “That didn’t sound nice, maybe I misunderstood”, turn away and leave.
Try to always have an answer in mind so that you don’t look like you have just been struck by lightning when the hit comes. However, consider each situation before reacting, because it could backfire if you are not careful.
- Move beyond silence
Should you answer the jerk or just not give him importance? The thing is that when you do not respond, you are approving the offense. In business you have to establish boundaries; business people have to know how to behave or else, they have to face the consequences.
- Know the teaser
There is a point when teasing becomes bullying. When this happens, wait until you have the opportunity to talk to the person and tell him how he makes you feel; be honest and serious.
Meeting people can be a pleasure or a drag, however, most often people surprise us positively, making it all worthwhile.
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