Social Networking Skills

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Remember that movie with Robert Redford and Michelle Pfeiffer, she’s a wannabe TV reporter and he’s her boss and they get married. He dies and she succeeds beyond her wildest dreams because she gets Up close and Personal with the camera and her audience. He teaches her how to be real on screen. Or gives her permission to be herself. And she loves him for that.

What the heck does that movie have to do with your business and networking, you ask. Glad you asked. There is a saying, sometimes heard on The Apprentice and other shows… it’s not personal, it’s just business…

What if in real life, it is personal, and it’s also good for business… Huh.

Ok, more and more these days, people are craving authentic connection with other human beings. That is the gist of what that movie was about and what we can learn. It is also an essential part of what the Obama phenomenon is about. A majority of Americans have seen and experienced painfully what having another cut-off, impersonal, out of touch, arrogant and some would say criminal white guy in the White House has cost our country. So now we want a Real American president. Someone like us. Not some pretend us. Not an elitist straight talker pretending to be like us.

We want a hero and someone who really is on our side who will advocate for us. A visionary who has compassion and strength, humor and honor. A person who has been there and done that. Who does not play dirty even when he can. A person who knows what it is like to do without and not have what the other kids in the playground do. An adult. Someone emotionally mature and stable. Anyone NOT trigger happy. A leader who does not relish war for war’s sake and bounty of riches for those in power.

Some would call our desire for connection an intense hunger for the divine. Not the twisted religious judgmental idea of the divine that some religious leaders shove down our throats. But the real divine. What if work, conducting commerce and business is sacred. And if the soul of business is changing to reflect our collective need for truth, honesty, justice and social responsibility. Something real. There is a new book called Sacred Commerce, on this topic.

At the same time, we run away from reality and intimate connection. We just don’t want to get our hands and hearts dirty. And we don’t want to feel real emotions. We could get hurt. Or punished. Rejected. Better call our jobs, relationships and life in. Keep it hands off and long distance. Like the TV lawyer Eli Stone did before he got his brain aneurism.

Since we often hold many contradictory beliefs, we also believe that business is dirty and that only unscrupulous, cutthroat, thieves and crooks succeed. And our language about people reflects our cut off state from one another… how many business owners want hits and traffic and leads from their blogs and websites? hits? traffic? leads? Do we as individuals want to be considered any of those things? No, of course not. It’s a numbers game, salespeople say. Do any of us want to be considered a number, to be sorted and categorized into segments? How many of us want to be targeted? We as individual human beings are too often lost in the day to day hectic shuffle. Yet those humans who actually relate to us on a real level (Oprah, Rachael Ray and others) in positive and inspiring ways do benefit and succeed.

Remember when you were a kid and loved to make messes, jumping into mud puddles, making mud pies, and just plain having fun being dirty… (like dogs)… and your mother came along and tsked and made you feel bad for having fun in the dirty earth. What if you as an adult on some level remember those lessons and try to run a sanitzed business and relationships. Just doesn’t work out too well, does it. Sooner or later, in life, things get messy. And we shake our heads, wring our hands and try to figure out what went wrong.

Then we come up with elaborate theories. We figure things out logically and we get by. It’s just a numbers game, we say about sales. We research trends, jump onto the Internet and try to do what everyone else is doing. Or whatever the current (often loudest) experts are telling everyone to do (often the opposite is true and they are not doing what they are telling everyone else to do, why divulge their secrets when they can make money fooling people).

So we get along just like we did in high school. We play follow the leader through life and business. Except we don’t know the rules and we don’t know if the leaders are real. And we wonder why we fail to feel satisfaction in our work and personal lives. Often, the two are at cross purposes and we do not know how to resolve these dilemmas.

We have been lied to and deep down feel betrayed. And it is time to face up to the facts. That life and business are really much simpler, easier and beneficial than we ever were told or taught. The people who know the secrets of how to relate to others, have fun and joy in their work, and contribute to others while succeeding and make money, are rare and are the people we can learn much from. And we often overlook, ignore and ridicule them. Like the geeks, nerds and dweebs in high school.

There is an email list that i recently subscribed to called Help a Reporter by Peter Shankman. He is a professional journalist, and he lists queries from various reporters, editors and writers who want to interview people like yourself on specific topics… In each email (there are usually 2-3 a day) he starts off with a funny personal anecdote about what he is doing, where he is (he travels a lot) and it is like receiving a letter from a friend… then he gets into the queries… His personal touch is important… He connects with his audience… and I really appreciate it…There are not many people who do this… give you a little glimpse into their life so that you feel that you know them… makes the cold cruel world of business just a little bit less impersonal.

So maybe it’s time for you to come down off of your high horse and stop by the dweeb table. Get your hands dirty. Speak to someone who you would never in your right mind ever talk to. Someone your mother might not approve of. Dare to talk about who you are and give a slice of your life on your blog, website or newsletter. For goodness sakes, if you want new business, and you do not have any contact info on your blog or website, how are the media and new customers supposed to get in touch with you? Send you smoke signals or intuitive flashes? Not everyone wants to leave a public comment.

Go ahead and get down and dirty and learn something new about yourself, your life and your business today. It might just benefit you and your business. And I promise, I will not call your mother and tell on you.

CeliaSue Hecht is a published writer, editor and publicist who assists business owners in promoting their products and services. She has been published in more than 40 publications (Top 100 newspapers and national magazines) and has obtained media coverage for authors and entrepreneurs. She offers a range of services, from publicity strategy to press release writing and email newsletter campaigns.((Her blog, Cuppa Writing for the Soul (http://celiasue.wordpress.com) offers free tips and advice for pet owners and pet businesses as well as traveling with dogs tales.

For more information, visit http://thewritingwiz.googlepages.com/cuppawritingforthesoul

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