Pay It Forward - The Secret To Successful Networking

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Pay it Forward (Warner Brothers Pictures, 2000), is one of my favorite movies. In it, a young boy has a remarkable idea that instead of paying someone back for a kindness they have given, you pay someone forward with a kindness you have to offer. The rules of paying it forward are simple:

#1 It has to be something that really helps people.

#2 Something they can’t do by themselves.

#3 I do it for them, they do it for three other people

Throughout the movie, lives are touched and changed in ever increasing circles by people paying it forward. In the process, the givers found their lives touched and enriched as well. Ironically, the message of pay it forward also offers an intriguing lesson for networking with confidence and success. Most of the people I know really detest “networking”. They dislike the idea of networking, the act of networking and the follow-up of networking. Here are some common objections:

-”I don’t like selling myself”

-”I don’t have time”

-”I know I should, but I am not good in groups”

-”No one would be interested in me”

-”I feel like I am chasing and being pushy”

-”Networking doesn’t work for me”

Have you ever had one of these thoughts when it comes to networking? You acknowledge all the great reasons you should network, but find it overwhelming or false. Did you see the common thread in each objection? Each objection is focused on “me” and how networking is supposed to benefit “me”. They also share the notion of scarcity and are based in the sense that I don’t have anything to offer or that I am going hat in hand asking for something that I may or may not deserve.

The best and most successful networks are built on relationships. Relationships are developed through connections that we make. Both are based on the participation of two individuals at a time, and develop because of shared interest, mutual respect and value. Each of us has something of value to offer. It may be our knowledge, skills or the people that we know and trust who are part of our network. Whatever we have, it is important and valuable to us, worth protecting, but also worthy of sharing.

Let’s apply the principles of pay it forward to the process of networking. I invite you to shift your objectives from who I can meet that can help me to who can I meet that I can help. Imagine that your focus at the next networking event you attend is to identify one to three people for whom you might like to pay it forward. As you listen to the “30-second commercials” or engage in casual conversation, ask yourself who you would like to get to know a little better and find out if and how you are able to pay something forward for them. This is not just about random acts of kindness, it is about being genuinely interested in others and caring enough to share the valuable assets that you possess in the best way.

The payoff is substantial. First, you have altered the focus from what you need to what you offer. How does that change your confidence? Second, you are able to show your best self with integrity and purpose. Third, you have created the opportunity for a meaningful and trusting relationship to develop and people will buy from, promote and support those with whom they have meaningful and trusting relationships. And finally, as you share the message of paying it forward, you will be surprised at how its benefits will come back to you again and again.

Elaine Halliday is director of Six Sigma Living, a division of Kiwi Development Solutions, LLP whose primary focus is to help solo-professionals and micro-businesses build their success from the inside out by providing consulting, coaching and training that promotes business prosperity and abundance. Elaine is a CPA, CTA Certified Coach and Six Sigma Certified Green Belt. With over 20 years experience in a variety of roles including accounting , finance, sales, marketing, operations and management as well as navigating many successful transitions between corporate employment and solo-entrepreneurship, Elaine believes that with creativity, flexibility, purpose and a good sense of humor all things are possible. To find out how Six Sigma Living can help you build success from the inside out, please visit http://www.sixsigmaliving.com .

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